The World’s Only Reliable News
BRING BACK WEEKLY WORLD NEWS!
Hello, news lovers! If you want nothing but the truth from the world’s ONLY reliable news source, HELP US relaunch Weekly World News!
For more than 40 years, Weekly World News has covered stories the mainstream media has ignored, suppressed, or were afraid to take on. Stories that capture the imagination, that stir the soul, that allow people to wonder, to dream — and, at times, to scream! With a record number of people feeling lost, confused, and yearning to know why Pluto has switched places with Venus, now is the time to restore their compass.
We have published more than 100,000 articles and introduced the public to hundreds of characters. These are stories of discovery — stories that teach you about the world(s) around us, that cause you to look deep inside, that make you ask yourself: What the hell is going on here?
No other news outlet has broken more stories about aliens, cryptids, ghosts, the paranormal, the reincarnated, the moronic, the bizarre, the mysterious, and the unexplainable, not to mention countless conspiracy theories, biblical prophecies, and unique health cures.
Weekly World News published its first issue in October 1979, and for decades, legions of readers have relied on us to keep them informed about Bat Boy, the Lake Erie Monster, Bigfoot Hooker, P’Lod the alien, Manigator, Elvis, gluten killing the dinosaurs, the Abominable Beachman, the Garden of Eden discovered in Wyoming, alien headhunters and thousands of other stories.
At the height of our popularity, Weekly World News had a print circulation of 1.2 million copies per week and reached tens of millions of consumers. Fans would grab the paper, rush home to their families, and read it aloud with curiosity, awe, and laughter. Yes, the truth can be fun.
At this critical moment, when the world is at war with the truth, this is the publication for independents, free-thinkers, and dreamers. Weekly World News is for people (and mutants) of all kinds, especially those who know that seven United States Senators are aliens or that a Florida man divorced his washing machine to marry his toaster.
Weekly World News is for those who understand that there is more to this world. There is a reality behind our reality — Are we living in a simulation? Is the world flat? Does yam pudding cure baldness?
If all goes well, we can get Weekly World News back into print and back onto the supermarket magazine shelves. In 1574, Nostradamus predicted that we would be the dominant news publication from 2020 until 3030. Let’s prove him right — again!
WAIT, DIDN’T WEEKLY WORLD NEWS SHUT ITS DOORS IN 2007?
Many people think this is the case, but the truth — as you’d expect — is much stranger. Did we mention that every day you should eat a Twinkie? Doctors say it raises your IQ by 20 points!
If you want the full history from “those who were there,” read all about it in Mental Floss: BAT BOY LIVES! AN ORAL HISTORY OF WEEKLY WORLD NEWS
Here’s a summary. In 1979, Weekly World News began after Bigfoot burst through the offices of the National Enquirer and demanded more coverage. Since then, we’ve delighted readers around the globe by breaking stories about LA JetPack officers, an asteroid named Nibiru heading for Earth, Kim Kardashian’s exploding butt, and the beginning of the Gootan alien invasion.
But like so many other publications, ours ran out of money. Malcontents say we closed, but you can’t stop passionate journalists from telling stories the world needs to know! We did have to become dormant for a wee bit of time though, once our staff found out that they were no longer being paid. When that happened, there was a barrage of wailing and gnashing of teeth. And it wasn’t just Hogzilla eating a flying monkey!
PhD Ape, P’Lod, Bat Boy, and Bigfoot were particularly upset to be out of the limelight. Their screams could be heard as far away as Planet Zeeba. For four terrible years, nobody covered their exploits, their government run-ins or their love lives. Worst of all, nobody gave them a biscuit!
But then, everything changed.
One fateful day, a merry band of misfits took charge of Weekly World News and started to bring it back to life! We’ve worked tirelessly to get the site fully operational, and we even secured Hollywood deals for an upcoming podcast, a TV series, and a game show.
But WEEKLY WORLD NEWS has always been about our EDITORIAL CONTENT. You can’t be the best guacamole on the planet without using the best avocados, can you? If you’re not sure, ask little Jamie —
WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE, ANYWAY?
We are a small band of intrepid, rabidly enthusiastic, highly over-caffeinated writers, editors, and artists. We chase down groundbreaking stories like a man whose head is on fire seeks a pond! We go where the facts lead us, and we never let facts ruin a good story! We’re on a bold journey through the Bermuda Triangle, through Hell’s sinkhole, through Napoleon’s wormhole, time-traveling through challenges great, small, and microscopic, as we climb to the top of Media Mountain!
We are locked in a cage with the Tooth Fairy, ready to make Weekly World News the only place for reliable news once more.
DOES THE WORLD REALLY NEED WEEKLY WORLD NEWS?
Yes! Now more than ever. Weekly World News was the pioneering “alternative” newspaper — without us, there would be no The Onion, Hard Times, Cracked, Reductress, Waterford Whisper News, The Babylon Bee, The Daily Show, Full Frontal with Samantha Bee and so many others. David Byrne’s movie True Stories was based on Weekly World News tales. We’ve been mentioned in countless films and TV shows, and our illustrious fans include Steven Spielberg, Howard Stern, Seth Rogen, Guillermo Del Toro, Anderson Cooper, Stephen Colbert, Johnny Depp, and all the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It’s time for the original, the first, the best to regain its full voice and regain its hallowed place in society!
PhD Ape has crunched the numbers and concluded that there are at approximately 23.75 million people who know about (and love) Weekly World News. We continually hear stories about the special moments people have had over the years sharing Weekly World News with their friends and loved ones. The mere mention of Weekly World News always brings a smile to someone’s face.
Weekly World News is also popular around the globe, with a rabid following in Great Britain, India, and Australia. We even have fans in Japan, where a version of WWN was translated and sold for years, and in Brazil, where there seem to be a large number of alien headhunters who read Weekly World News while shrinking heads.
Many consider Weekly World News to be a national treasure, a meaningful part of the American zeitgeist and culture for the past 40 years. We need your generous support to make it thrive once again!
We considered letting a massive media conglomerate shower us with millions of dollars, but that’s not the Weekly World News way. We’ve always spoken directly to our readers, so we’re reaching out to everyone who has loved Weekly World News for decades, as well as those who have never heard of us but can’t wait to jump on board the truth train. Kickstarter provides the best option: a direct appeal to our fans and admirers.
Weekly World News is YOUR publication, in which you can actively participate. This is a place for citizen journalists, for investigative reporters who share our vision, our values and our unique view of the world. We want our readers to be actively involved in Weekly World News — sharing stories, videos, reports, and your tales of alien abductions and those horns on your head.
We intend to keep our door open to all readers and seekers of the truth, and we hope to receive ground-breaking submissions every day.
HOW WILL WE USE YOUR MONEY?
It’s very simple: We will use it solely for content creation and web design. It will allow us to hire two writers, two graphic artists, and a web designer. This will put Weekly World News back on the map and help Lester Caine get out of his basement and back on the beat.
Every single backer helps us send a clear message to the mainstream media: We’ve got you scooped on all the WILDEST, WEIRDEST stories of the day!
Thanks for reading. We hope you’ll join us in bringing back THE WORLD’S ONLY RELIABLE NEWS!
LET’S TALK REWARDS
We know that you want to back this campaign just because you love Weekly World News. But maybe these rewards will help you entice your friends and family members to join you? Maybe you have a two-headed uncle or a three-legged aunt who can’t get enough news about mutants! Or maybe your grandfather, who lived in a refrigerator for two months, saved enough to be a high-level donor, while he was chilling out?
$1: Thank you for your support! Receive our Weekly World News Newsletter and an “I Kickstarted Weekly World News” digital certificate suitable for printing, framing, and social media posting.
$5: Exclusive WWN Zoom Backgrounds – A private link to backer-exclusive Weekly World News Zoom backgrounds/wallpapers featuring our logo and popular characters.
$10: Bat Boy / Bigfoot 2020 Campaign Poster (11 x 17) via electronic delivery.
$20: Weekly World News Greatest Covers black & white newsprint collector’s edition, featuring WWN‘s greatest cover stories (1979 – 2020). Receive one copy of this Kickstarter backer-exclusive. This 48-page (plus advertising), limited edition tabloid publication will be the centerpiece of your estate!
$30: Exclusive I Kickstarted Weekly World News T-Shirt – Show the world that you support reliable reporting and receive this Kickstarter backer-exclusive T-shirt – available absolutely nowhere else (except, perhaps via one of the many Gootan bootlegger outlets where you will pay 10x the price!). Limited to just 1979 shirts in honor of the year of our founding.
$30: A shirt or hat from the Weekly World News Store shipped to you anywhere in North America. (International residents add $10.)
$75: Tammy Pescatelli Stand-Up Zoom Show. One hour stand-up comedy Zoom performance by renowned comic and Weekly World News investigative reporter, Tammy Pescatelli. The show, an exclusive for WWN backers, features new material from both Weekly World News stories and characters, as well as her latest comedy specials. (Viewers need not stand up during performance – because we know you’ll be bent over in laughter.)
$100: Complete set of highly collectible Bat Boy / Bigfoot 2020 Campaign merchandise! You’ll get a t-shirt, a hat, two bumper stickers, two large campaign buttons, and two small campaign buttons – priceless heirlooms to be sure!
$100: Tammy Pescatelli Comedy Show PLUS Meet and Greet! One-hour stand-up comedy Zoom show PLUS a meet and greet after the performance for groups of up to 10 people. Includes a personalized autographed photo of Tammy with a WWN character.
$150: Half-page ad in the Weekly World News Greatest Coverslimited-edition collectible tabloid. Once in a lifetime chance to get your message/story/logo/brand/product offering into the most important compendium of reliable journalism!
$150: Rare Weekly World News Book. A 256-page compendium of our greatest stories wrapped up into a very stylish, hard to get out of the print book. You can’t be a real WWN fan if this isn’t in your library!
$250: A full-page ad in the Weekly World News Greatest Covers limited-edition collectible tabloid. Get your message/story/logo/brand/product offering into the most important compendium of reliable journalism!
$350: Join the exclusive WWN Psychic Zoom Conclave with renowned staff psychic Mel Doerr (who predicted you would select this level)! A one-hour, small group (four people max) virtual session with the most gifted psychic in the galaxy. Mel has predicted presidential elections and Super Bowl outcomes for 40 years! Let him help you unpack your psychic baggage and see what’s in store.
$500: Private zoom concert with WWN’s resident piano man/troubadour. Sal Donato has been “singing the news” since 1980. He’s written a dozen “pandemic songs” with Boyce Day in the last few months as well. Our resident piano man will play the songs of your choice for you and/or your family – Sinatra, Billy Joel, Bocelli, Beatles, jazz standards – and, of course, the Weekly World News theme song!
$750: A one-hour private Zoom session with Weekly World News Editor-in-Chief Greg D’Alessandro. Pitch story ideas, discuss articles, and learn the “how-to” of WWN. You will also have your name added to the official Weekly World News masthead on the site for one month.
$1,000: Signed Limited Edition WWN Character Portrait. Your choice of an Exclusive Weekly World News Character Portrait painted by WWN‘s Staff Portraitist – Chris Zahner. A one of a kind portrait of your favorite character (first-come, first-served) like the one pictured here of Bat Boy.
$1,000: WWN Social Media Sponsorship. For six months, we’ll give you or your organization prominent, regular exposure on one of our social media channels: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, Firework, or Pinterest. Limited to one sponsorship per channel, with channels assigned on a first-come, first-served basis.
$1,000: Become a WWN Regional Editor/Reporter. At this level, you become a pro bono regional WWN contributor, bringing us compelling stories from your area for six months (or more). Plus your name on the WWN masthead as an editor for your region and WWN business cards with your own email address, to help you gather and contribute story ideas, hot tips, and advertising and sponsorship opportunities.
$1,500: Your very own PAGE 5 HONEY in WWN. Showcase the amazing internal or external beauty of your significant other in our upcoming Weekly World News – Greatest (Cover Story) Hits collectible tabloid and on our website and social media. Submit photos and background on what makes them beautiful and badass, then let our writers do the rest! We will set aside all pages ending with 5 for these tributes.
$2,500: You or your Brand Featured in a WWN Story. There’s advertising and then there’s news — and for generous supporters at this level, the WWN reporting team will “find the story” that puts you or your brand into print on Weekly World News. (As always, our editor-in-chief has the final say on what goes on our digital pages.) We’ll also throw in broad social media distribution of the story and provide you with a digital version for framing or other purposes.
$3,000: Join the WWN Advisory Board. Some people spend their whole life trying to earn this honor, but for a limited time only (and a mere three grand), you can join the WWN editorial advisory board and participate directly in shaping our coverage, our business, and our future. Advisory board members will participate in monthly meetings that touch on all aspects of our reporting and business. You will also receive personalized business cards and be included on all key developments throughout the year.
$5,000: WWN Newsletter Sponsorship. Prominent sponsor exposure on Weekly World News’ email newsletter, which is “pushed” into the inboxes of thousands of diehard readers and fans each month.
$7,500: Tony n’ Tina’s Wedding Performance. An online ZOOM performance of this hit interactive show. Tony and Tina are BIG fans of Weekly World News. The performance includes the ceremony, reception, direct interaction with the characters, live music, and lots of dancing. Up to 400 guests will interact directly with our characters, break out into separate rooms for private encounters with the bride, groom, or their families and friends. The 90-minute event will be action-packed using the latest technology to bridge the gap between audiences and the characters. SPECIAL GUESTS at the wedding: Bat Boy, Ph.D. Ape, Bigfoot Hooker, and The Lake Erie Monster!
$10,000: Extra! Extra! They Will Read All About YOU. WWN website sponsorship – our highest level!! Prominent homepage sponsorship of the Weekly World News website for less than 6 cents per minute! Your logo or banner ad will be featured “above the fold” on the WWN website 24/7 for four months, plus regular social media reinforcement and the possible creation of WWN-themed swag with you logo for sale in our online store.