Hi! My name is Alyssa Lerner and I’m a queer, non-binary, Filipino-American filmmaker. I, alongside my producers Tracy Smith and Kimia Behpoornia and fiscal sponsor, A BUNCH OF SAVAGES, want to tell you a little story that’s very dear to our hearts. Take a seat and grab some tea while we tell you about FIRST DEATH.

We’ve all been told that there are certain markers to tell us if our lives have been well lived: a loving family, a long marriage, 2.3 biological children, a respectable career.  When I realized I was queer as a teenager, it suddenly felt like all the markers of adult life were painfully out of reach. At the time, I had no accepting family, no legal gay marriage, and no hope for biological children. Thus, it felt like I had no way of growing up. I figured that soon I would just… die. 

I trudged along, not dying. Trepidatiously learning to be myself. Learning that when you live outside of normativity… you still live. Somewhere along the way, not dying became living. And living became gratitude for the distance I have from society’s norms. I became proud to live on my own terms– limitless.

Then one day, I met a woman who was on track to meet all the markers of normative adulthood. She had a curated life, complete with a long-term boyfriend, house, and career, but then– perhaps unfortunately– she fell in love with me. She kept our affair a secret, maintaining appearances, while I itched to remain as open as I had spent my life fighting to be. It felt like a fight between our timelines. I begged her to join me on my terrifyingly limitless path, while she clung to the traditional one she had always wanted.

She chose to stay on her path, so I continued on mine. 

I spent months nursing my own wounds by judging hers: she was a coward, she was making a mistake, she was wasting her life. But the truth is… there’s no way to waste your life. There are no markers to a life well lived. You could marry a man. You could have a child. You could do neither. You could live your truth, or you could keep your truth preciously close to your chest. You make your choices and live with them… and that’s just it: you live. And that is always enough. 

Our film, FIRST DEATH, follows 659, a soul newly formed soul who gets placed in their first lifetime on earth as a woman named MARGOT. After an abruptly short life and untimely death, 659 unwillingly returns to Sky Headquarters, determined to take a piece of their life as Margot into the afterlife with them. 

FIRST DEATH is a comedic fantasy short film with the whimsical world-building of THE GOOD PLACE and the urgent longing and heart of ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND. It follows one soul coming to terms with the devastating truth that, no matter the length and what they did, their life was worth living. And, thus, it is worth grieving.

With this film, I want to show the violence with which we hold onto what is not meant for us– and the gentleness required to let go. After all, the heart is a door: letting something leave it requires opening it once more. 

FIRST DEATH is an incredibly ambitious endeavor. This film has fantastical visual effects and involves creating and designing an entirely new world. High-production value tools like these are typically reserved for expensive Hollywood films, and we believe we have the skills and experience to create a film that rivals those that are studio-funded. We just need your support!

We are seeking $50,000 to cover the costs of production, including crew and cast salaries, locations and production design, equipment rentals, and post-production expenses. Our team has the passion to make this film successful— but only you can help us execute a vision unlike any other! 

Please consider investing in these artists’ careers by donating to FIRST DEATH.  Any donation of $250 or more will be tax-deductible via our fiscal sponsor, A BUNCH OF SAVAGES (please note that the First Death team is not a tax-exempt organization).

In return for your incredible generosity, we have designed unique perks for our contributors, such as:

• $25+: A special thank you in the end titles!
• $100+: A signed thank you card from the First Death team! 
• $1,000+: VIP invite to an early friends and family screening!  Tax deductible.
• $3,000+: Co-Executive Producer credit, allowing you to be part of our creative journey, including behind-the-scenes production updates, and invites to an early friends and family screening and premieres.  Tax deductible.
• $5,000+: Executive Producer credit, allowing you to be part of our creative journey, including set visits, behind-the-scenes production updates, early friends and family screening and premiere invites, and an uncomfortably long hug :).  Tax deductible.

If we don’t reach our full goal, we will still use whatever funds we raise to cover essential production costs. We are committed to making this film, and every dollar counts!

By supporting our campaign, you will help us bring this poignant story to life and create an impactful dialogue around identity and self-acceptance. Your contribution can make a monumental difference in amplifying voices that need to be heard.

This story is told from a queer, nonbinary, non-white perspective and we are prioritizing the same type of representation both in front of and behind the camera. I want to create an authentic, nuanced world, centered around queer and trans people of color. I want to show that we are multifaceted people, allowed to tell stories of love and longing — stories that fall outside of our long-exploited-by-Hollywood identity struggles. 

Even with the specificity of our story, we believe FIRST DEATH will resonate with anyone who has grappled with the grief of letting go. This is not just a film; it’s a message of hope, love, and resilience aimed at a global audience.

With previous successful projects, the FIRST DEATH team has consistently focused on creating stories that resonate with underrepresented audiences. By contributing to this film, you’re not just helping to create art; you’re participating in a movement toward greater representation and understanding.